The older I get, the more I realize how much I like being single. There are times when I feel lonely and long for companionship with a man that I love and there are a lot of those moments, especially when I see couples who are happy and planning their futures together. As much as I’ve longed for that kind of commitment in the past, I know that there’s so much more that I need to focus on as a single woman.
For one thing, as a single woman, I can do what I want. If I feel like staying home in the evening and just read or watch a movie, I have every right to do so without consulting anybody else on the matter. If I want to go out with friends, I also have that right.
The thing about going out on a date is that men are expected to behave like gentleman. They’ll tell you you’re pretty, beautiful, wonderful and everything in between. They’ll pay for dinner, they’ll hold the door for you, walk on the sidewalk closest to the street, say and do all the right things. And when you rarely go out on dates (like me), hearing those things make you feel, well, wonderful and special. They make you think things might be possible for the two you even if you know they might not work out.
I’m not saying men shouldn’t do these things, but the older I get, the more I realize how much I need to guard my heart. It’s easy to get carried away listening to someone exalt you in the best possible way, which is why I’m more hesitant to go out on dates. I don’t want to invest myself into a night out and set myself up for failure. And the easiest way is to remain single, focus on things that I want/need to focus on and enjoy the benefits of being single.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be in a relationship, or when if there is a relationship out there waiting for me, but for now I content myself in knowing that I have the freedom to do what I want without constraint. Who needs to be tied down with a boyfriend when you have the freedom to choose, the world at your feet?