I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to write about today, that’s why I’m so late posting today (not to mention I had to work this evening). Since I couldn’t decide what I wanted to write about, I’ll just go down a list of a few things that come to my mind. At least it’ll get me writing, right?
Yesterday (November 10) was my two year anniversary of being single. I’m sure it sounds pretty weird to have my “single” anniversary be the day that a guy I was seeing (not even officially in a relationship) dumped me. Why is this? And why am I even celebrating being single? It’s complicated. You see, back in my early 20’s, I was going through some rough patches and it just so happened that I went through two really complicated and painful “dating” scenarios. Because of that, I decided to remain single at least until I graduated from college and knew who I was. But during my intermission between my B.A. and M.A., I began to think about remaining single. If it didn’t work out the next time then oh well. And that’s basically what happened with the last guy. While I really wanted it to work, to know what a relationship was, it didn’t work out for various reasons. I’ve dated a few times, even talked about maybe having a relationship with someone this year (as many may have noticed). But even that’s not going as well as I hoped.
Should that matter? Yes and no. I could probably get a few dates if I tried harder, but I don’t. Life isn’t about getting dates and being in relationships and falling in love. It’s a nice idea and we all want to be loved, but do we really need to lay bare our heart to people we’re dating only to be hurt? I don’t know. I’m the last person you want to ask for an opinion about love.
I haven’t been feeling to greatly the last week or so. I don’t know if it’s the weather changing or I need to eat healthier or what, but that’s what I’ve been feeling. Today I had some sliced apple and grapes. I don’t know if that’ll make me feel better, but I definitely like sliced apple and grapes. Sometimes eating healthier makes you feel good physically and mentally.
I got halfway through American Horror Story: Asylum this week. I got halfway through the season when I decided I couldn’t handle it anymore. It’s been rather odd about my outlook on the horror genre lately. I usually enjoy a scary movie or even a scary t.v. show, but I haven’t been into it recently. Last month I watched Hannibal and I liked the show, but it also disturbed me to the point of making me nauseous. I liked the Conjuring because it was scary without being nauseating. But Asylum is in that category with Hannibal: good but making me feel nausuous. I guess I’m not in that kind of mood. Torture and murder in these movies just turns me off. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to see it since my dad’s passing and want more happy things, but that’s the way things are right now. Maybe I’ll finish watching the show when I’m in more of the mindset to watch it.
I have the weekend free this weekend. I don’t haven’t anything planned for it. Maybe I’ll plan something to do. for it, but I probably won’t. A lot of people I know have social lives, but I’m not the type of person to live that way.
What kinds of things have you been doing lately? Lots of movies or hanging out with friends?
Ash is participating in the November daily post for National Novel Writing Month.