Sometimes it’s had for me to write about anything. A lot of time, it’s perfection that’s getting in the way. I want my words to be perfect, polished. I want what I have to say to come out looking like it could be on the front page of Time magazine, or some other such publication. I read other blogs and I envy how they always have just the right words to say at just the right time. Their posts are sleek against their perfected themed background and garner thousands of readers and comments with everything they say and do. I envy them and wonder, how can I ever compete with that? I’m not funny, I don’t travel, food is expensive, and computers can get bogged down with a million things we load onto them.
Sometimes I just don’t think I have enough to say or that I know enough about the topic that I really want to talk about and someone will call me out on it, tell me that what I’ve said is wrong because of evidence x, y, and z. I fear being wrong even though I know I can be right and that on certain things it’s just a matter of preference. It’s hard to just be me sometimes, you know?
But then, I think, why not? Why am I trying to compete with all these others? Why can’t I enjoy writing posts for the sheer pleasure of it? That’s why I started a blog to begin with. I don’t have a lot of followers, but I have more than I ever thought I’d get for my little corner of the Internet universe. And all those other bloggers? They all started out in the beginning, too. They all started out with a handful of readers and a prayer. Maybe they were going for being blog famous, and maybe they weren’t. But you know, they eventually got there. One day, it just all clicked for them. People started coming to them, wanting to read what they have to say.All they did was be themselves.
And I want to be myself. I don’t have a specific topic to color my whole blog, so why am I comparing myself to others that do? We’re all good in our way. I just happen to enjoy writing about whatever comes to my mind that I deem worthy to write about. It’s all worthy, and I and everyone else shouldn’t have to pressure ourselves out of it. Or maybe it’s inward? Because frankly, I’ve pressured myself too hard to make my blog posts look a certain way or write a certain way and when I finally post it, it looks fake to me, not myself.
I need to just forget about what others may think and just write because I enjoy it. I’ll get more out of it for myself, and others will get more out of it. I just need to write and know that if I write for myself, everything else will come. The readers will come and maybe my blog will grow.
Thanks for listening, even if most of this was a jumbled mess of thoughts.