Hard writing.

Writing takes practice.

You can’t put a story down to paper and expect a masterpiece to stare back at you. And yet we expect that to happen every time we pull out our pen and paper. Whenever I write, I write a paragraph, a page, maybe even two and then I stop and stare at it in disbelief because I didn’t write it like I could see it in my head.

Too much exposition. Too much explaining. Not enough action, not enough show and tell.

I look at my words in disbelief and I want to tear out the pages in anger and frustration because it hasn’t reached where I want it to be just yet. And it won’t. Not just yet, anyway. Because sometimes you need to get the idea down first and then look back on it after some time has passed.

Sometimes we just need to put down our ideas down first. Oftentimes it’s just a paragraph or a few lines of dialogue or exposition. We need to get it out so we don’t forget.

I’m learning not to get frustrated. I’m writing in a composition notebook when the ideas hit me. I write. It’s not always the full story, just parts of it. It’s so hard though not to pull it all out and start from page one. My fingers itch to just pull them all out. But I don’t think I have just yet. I want to keep it all in one little space. Perhaps if I keep writing, the ideas will keep flowing. I want to write a book someday and if I don’t keep pushing myself, then I won’t get to that point.

One day I’ll look up from my little composition notebook and say, “This is the idea that I want to follow through with.”

Then I’ll rush to the computer, pull open a word document and edit and maybe write some more. That’s all I want to do. Continue writing and follow my dreams. But first, I need to practice. First, I need to keep writing in spite of all my insecurities. If I keep writing Captain Critic will dissolve into nothing.

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