I always come back to writing. No matter how long it’s been since I last put words to paper, I always come back to write something else down, if only for my own sanity.
Most people think of books when they think of writing. In the very least, people assume you’re writing short stories. I haven’t done either for several years. Mostly when I write, I’m either writing down my thoughts in a journal or a blog. I feel compelled to put my thoughts down, mainly because if I don’t, they will build up and then it causes me distress. I’ll make myself sick, I’ll lose sleep, and I go just a little bit crazy. And when I finally go back to writing my thoughts down, I feel a sense of relief. I can finally relax and focus on something else.
This is the only way I can calm myself. My mind can make mountains out of molehills and soon I’m making myself upset over nothing. Other people go out drinking and dancing. I sit down and write until I feel my senses calm down.
Why is it that people who think too much need to write down their thoughts? What ancient ritual did thinkers have that needed them to think so much? Why was it required for survival? Or is it something merely modern, a malady that we created to explain why we go crazy when we think too much?
The point I’m trying to make is that I’ll always need to write, no matter what it is I’m writing in the current moment. I love to write, and yet I hate it at the same time. I’ll take all the time in the world from writing, but it will pull me back in eventually.
I want to write more. I want to eventually write a book. My reasoning is that I’ll finally be able to put it all to rest. But I’m probably only joking with myself. Maybe I’ll never get rid of the need to write. I just need the persistence to keep on writing and keep on planning for the next big idea.