I dreamed that I was Belle last night.
I was dancing with the Beast, then afterwards we stretched out in front of the fire. He closed his eyes and I leaned over him, gently stroking the fur around his face. He opened his eyes and I was staring into them for what seemed like the longest time and then–
he kissed me.
It was the sweetest moment ever, even if it was just a dream.
And then I woke up.
I realized then that I wasn’t Belle…
And I didn’t have the Beast.
I still felt warm and bubbly from the dream. I still felt a blanket of love surround me. But I was kind of disappointed that it wasn’t actually real.
There are certain parts of your life that you grow to disregard after a while because it isn’t worth forcing yourself into when it wasn’t going to work. My love life is one of those things. I never dated much to begin with and now I hardly think about anymore. I focus on work, reading, writing, and other quiet pursuits.
I still think about it from time to time, though. I still wonder if I’m doing the right thing by not aggressively pursuing a love life. Would I have found one eventually if I kept at it? Would my life have been different then?
Maybe. But maybe it wouldn’t have, either.
I might still be single regardless.
I don’t think I’m any different than anybody else. I’m just on a different path from all the rest. I want to do my thing and if someone crosses my path, then maybe it was meant to be.
That’s what I tell myself anyway. I suppose I could try harder. But I don’t.
I wanted to make a point with this post, but some things don’t have points, if you know what I mean. Sometimes you have dreams and you wake up and realize that it’s just that, a dream. It reminds you of a part of your life that you’ve long neglected, of things that you once long for, or maybe even subconsciously long for. Perhaps it’s just to remind you of where you stand in the grand scheme of things.
Sometimes you just are and there’s nothing bad or good about it. You focus on yourself and you do your thing and then
life takes a turn to a place that you least expected it.
And that, that is something more than anyone could ever hope for.