The Insecurities of Love

We were walking around the mall holding hands. In a store front window was a dress. I don’t remember what it looked like, but it reminded me of something from the 50’s.

“Do you think I’d look pretty in that?” I asked.

He stopped and looked at me intently. “I think you’d look beautiful.” He paused. “You don’t think you’ll get married do you?”

I didn’t say anything, but I agreed with him. I didn’t think I was ever going to get married.

He squeezed my hand. “I think you’ll get married one day and you’ll be the most beautiful woman in that dress.”

I smiled and we continued walking.

Not long after that, he stopped talking to me and I never saw him again. Sometimes promises are broken and words are merely words that people say to make you feel better in the moment. They feel good, but it hurts worse when they leave.

I’m still single and I probably always will. I’m happy with this generally, but sometimes I get a nagging insecurity well up within me on occasion; that I’m one of those people that others aren’t interested in romantically. Sure I’ve been told I’m pretty and that I’m sweet, but not long enough for me to get the sense that I’m a worthy component to receive attention.

I’ve expressed this feeling to my friends but I think they tire of me quickly. They’re already in love, so why should it matter about the faults and struggles of others?

I’m kind of nervous about sharing this but I’m going to be brave and share it anyway. Perhaps others feel the same way and I never even knew.


2 thoughts on “The Insecurities of Love

  1. I think this, I always say that my moniker is ‘Not good enough’. I was the funny friend who everyone got on with but no one wanted to date until the relationships with my better looking friends failed.
    We are good enough though. We’re just waiting for that extra level of special. Me, well if I could ever learn to love myself i might find it.

    • I don’t know any single people anymore. I got to the point of accepting my singleton status (sort of, maybe not as much as I pretend.) I get too many weird experiences.

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