National Novel Writing Month, or Something.

It’s National Novel Writing Month. Or National Poetry Writing Month. Or National Blog Writing Month. Or whatever it is your writing month. I don’t even know anymore. People have so many ways of writing it’s not even funny.

I thought about it last night briefly. I don’t think I’ll participate in it, though I did write a poem in its honor. I don’t think I could write 30 poems. Or 50,000 words. Or even 30 blog posts. It just doesn’t seem logical. I like the idea of it–it doesn’t matter what you’re writing as long as you’re writing but when did we stop caring about quality in favor of quantity? Maybe quantity yields to quality? I don’t know.

I have this crisis every year. Should I participate? Is it worth it? I want to participate!

…and then I don’t because I’m lazy.

Maybe I just never understood why people would want to do it. I just think it’s weird. I tried writing a blog post every day once. That was weird. And hard. And annoying. I can’t even do it for a week. Because it’s dumb and takes away from everything else. That’s all.



National Novel Writing Month starts today. Once again, I briefly thought about joining in but I already knew I wasn’t going to participate the moment I considered it. I know there are those who fanatically follow this wild race to 50,000 words, but I can’t seem to push myself in that way. Granted, I’m all about deadlines and meeting goals, but this always seemed a little much to me.

I once read a post about why the writer didn’t participate in NanoWriMo (as it’s called) and I really liked it. I wish I remembered what the article was so I could properly credit him, but he compared it to marathons. He asked the reader to compare running a full length marathon every day for 30 days. In the beginning, you’ll think it’s a breeze, but by the end of it your body has worn down: your joints are broken, you’re dehydrated, your muscles are worn off. It’s possible to finish, but you end with your body falling to pieces.

That’s how I see NanoWriMo: a wearing of the mind. Granted, I could probably reach 50,000 words if I really wanted to try and push myself. But by the end, the words will be garbled and not make much sense. It’s said that this doesn’t really matter but I can’t see myself doing this. I just can’t.

If you love the community and you like working towards a goal, then more power to you. For me, this isn’t my outlet. Just my thoughts tho.

And as always, there are always the variations of National Novel Writing Month. Writing in your blog every day, writing 25,000 words. That sort of thing. In this I can acknowledge that Nano has made us all creatives more aware of our art. And for that I can give the creators a resounding pat on the back.


Blogging Blues.

I’m a terrible blogger.

I go for days without blogging. Sometimes even a month or two.

Sometimes I open a new post and I just stare at it for minutes, even hours at a time.

What I want to write suddenly gets stuck in my brain. Normally because I have huge insecurities about what I want to say.

I’ve talked about this before, but I want to say it again: writing does suck terribly sometimes.

I don’t know how some people blog every day for the month of November. I only managed it once or twice since last week. Or was it the week before? You guys are all so weird. Especially when you manage to get what you want out in a coherent, lyrical way.

If I wrote every day, it’d feel much more natural to me and get the ideas flowing easier. But it’s just so hard. And those people who manage to get 50,000 word novels out in 30 days? They must be possessed with something demonic because I can’t manage it.

To be honest, I’m just jealous of all writers in general. How do you guys manage to get ideas out so easily? I know it’s not easy but you manage to write once a week, twice a week, every day without a bat in the eye. Give me some of your energy….

Give me some of your ideas.

And really, I have no idea why I’m writing one to 3 sentence paragraphs. Maybe it makes me feel like I’m actually writing more with less. What do you think?

Maybe one day I can be a better blogger. Maybe I can be a phoenix from the ashes instead of just ashes.

Or in the very least a better blog post.


How the Writing Month Starts…

I started out this National Writing Month writing in my private journal. There were things that I wanted to write about that I didn’t want to share with potentially thousands of people in my blog. I don’t know if that stuff counts but there it is. I was going to write something more general in the blog yesterday just to start things out but every time I came to the blank page, I didn’t know what to say. So much has happened and so many different ideas are running around through my head that it’s hard to sit down and focus on something to write for my blog. I say this a lot, but really sometimes the ideas that I think up aren’t really worthy of showing to the world. I’m sure if I sat down and really thought through some of my ideas, they would work out to something interesting, but I never do.

I think the whole idea of it all is fear. Fear that I’m not writing anything of importance. Fear that people won’t like what I wrote because I said something the wrong way. I love to blog, but it makes me self conscious. People say to write for myself like no one else is going to read it, but it’s really hard. I’m putting my thoughts out there permanently. Everyone will know what my thoughts will be on a certain topic. And sometimes you just don’t want anybody know what you’re thoughts are on something, if you know what I mean.

I started to write a Holocaust story last night. Actually, I’d written the story for a creative writing class when I was in college but I always wanted to expand on it and make it at least a novella or longer. But this is the problem: I never know where to start in the story. Should I start it like I started in the short story, or should I write a memory first then have her come back to where I started in the first story? It’s frustrating. I’ve started and stopped this so many times I don’t even know what to say about it anymore. Maybe I just need to put it in a closet and not think about it anymore. But it’s so hard because I want to write this story. No matter how hard I try to forget about it, I keep coming back to it. Maybe one of these days I’ll have a moment of clarity. Maybe instead of writing my own story I can write some Fan Fiction. I really miss writing fan fiction stories.

And this, my friends, is why I never get any stories finished.


The Final Countdown

Today’s the last day of November, which means it’s the last day of National Novel Writing Month as well as the last day of National Blog Writing Month (or however it goes). I only missed four days this month, which makes me extremely happy. I didn’t think I could write every day of a whole month (or even most of a month). So I’m glad I got through the majority of it.

I also realized that I survived my first Thanksgiving without my dad. We (my mom and I)went over and hung out with a friend and her family for Thanksgiving dinner. It took up most of the evening so that kept us busy. I still would rather have had my dad around Thursday. He loved Thanksgiving dinner and we always watched the parade in the morning together (when we didn’t have to drive up to my aunt and uncle’s place, that is). It felt weird watching the parade without my dad. But we made it through. The next big holiday is Christmas. That one’s going to be a big one. Well, I’m not going to think about it. Focus on the here and now and God will take care of the rest.

What are your plans for December?


That Was Unexpected…

So I realized the other day that I missed three days in my National Blog Writing Month thingy majig. I realized two of the days the other week, but I didn’t realize I missed one until over the weekend. That was rather unexpected, not to mention I’m a little disappointed. I was so determined to write a blog post for every day of November.

Obviously, that’s not going to work out this year.  But even so, I’m quite pleased that I’ve been blogging nearly every day aside from the three days I missed. I don’t think I blogged so much in such a long time. Granted, some of my posts have been less than interesting, but at least I’ve been doing it.

We can’t be perfect all the time and sometimes we stumble along the way. The most important thing in the world is to try and keep going even when we do stumble and fail. That’s how we learn and grow.

Maybe next year I’ll be able to write a blog post every day. But this year I’m proud to have gotten pretty darn close (so far)!


Facebook is Terrible

Many of you might know of this already. I’ve known it for about a year (or more now). But the fact of the matter is, Facebook is absolutely terrible. While I love that Facebook allows me to connect to my friends and family and other people I used to know and keep up with what they’re doing in their lives, there is also that really bad con that makes me want to put away Facebook forever.

That fact is that the posts that some people post make me want to slap them across the face. And believe me, some of these people are ones that I wouldn’t have a problem with on a regular basis outside of Facebook. But because of Facebook, the posts that I see every day makes me want to shoot myself in the head. I won’t, but it’s that general feeling. There are rants from younger people about minute things that don’t matter (and in capslock, needless to say). Older people (mid 20’s to 30’s) complaining about younger people going through hormonal changes (which they can’t help, they’re only in their early 20’s). Political debates are rampant among many, many other things. Can’t we talk about “Oh, the sun is shining today!” or “I went out to dinner and it tasted better than expected!”

I probably shouldn’t complain, but sometimes it just gets to the frustrating point of not wanting to know what other people are thinking all the time. Which comes to my thoughts on taking a break from Facebook. I’ve taken a week or so off from it before just because it’s gotten to much to keep up with. I may or may not do it, but I might, even if it’s for a few days. It’ll definitely refresh me and make me not so irritated about certain posts.

We all need little breaks every now and then, don’t we?

Ash is participating in the November daily post for National Novel Writing Month.