I think writing is difficult. I enjoy it, but I think it’s difficult all the same. I don’t think it’s difficult because of the subject matters that I write even though I think it can be a factor depending on what it is you’re writing about.
I just think that the actual process of writing is difficult, you know?
How should I start? How much should I write? Is it too much or too little?
Am I writing too much exposition? Am I putting in too much dialogue? Does the dialogue feel and flow naturally? Should I put in more dialect? Or should I stick to what I know?
Where should I start the story? Is this a good enough topic? Do I like what I’m writing? How often should I write? How many words should I write per day? How much should my favorite authors influence me? Would they accuse me of plagiarism? Am I taking something old and making it new in my perspective?
Does the story just work and flow in general? And does my ending fit or does it seem stilted?
All of these things run through my head constantly. And then when I feel paralyzed with fear on what to write, I fall back on old stories I’ve already written and try to edit and re-write; then I feel guilty for focusing on something that I can’t re-do instead of just trying something else for a change.
It kind of sucks.
Sometimes I wish I took more writing classes. If I did, I’d have more variety of stories to share with the world, more stories to work and and put out into the world. Instead I have the same two stories that I keep coming back to because I’m to afraid to write something new in fear of it being dumb.
I write almost every day these days. Some poetry, my journal, and even on my blog. I keep pushing myself to write because I think that if I keep making myself write then the ideas will eventually come.
I think I’m fooling myself.