The Inauguration.

The Inauguration happened today. I don’t think I need to elaborate on what inauguration we’re talking about. For whatever reason, I thought it was happening tomorrow (Saturday the 21st) instead of today (Friday the 20th). I don’t know why it would be on a Saturday, I don’t think it’s ever been on a Saturday as far as I know? But anyway.

I had to work this morning, so I missed the whole thing. Some people would tell me that this is a good thing as the majority of people didn’t like the man. Others would probably be disappointed that I didn’t get to see it, I’m sure. All I know is that the country will face a lot of unrest in the next four years regardless of which side you’re on.

I feel like I’m the brink of history here, you know? I feel like I’m about to witness some history that will talked about for many years to come, just like the 60’s civil rights movement, or any of the major wars, or any major point in human civilization. I can just feel it upon me. I think all Americans can feel it and even people around the world in other nations.

So. I hope for the best. In the very least there will be a lot of stories to tell.

Creating a new audience venue.

A few months ago, I create a YouTube account. As of this writing, I haven’t posted anything to the channel. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what I want my channel to be about, thus why there’s nothing on there. This is my problem: I want to try these things, but I’m not quite sure how to go about them.

But I have an idea. I think.

I’ve been mulling it over in my head for a while now.

I think I want to have a YouTube channel where I read poetry, stories, urban legends, fan fiction, creepypastas, and other tales. Maybe even something similar to Rob Dyke, Caleigh Elise, and Matthew Santoro. I even want to do an occasional review of a book or movie. I think it would be original (somewhat) and something people haven’t tried much before. Obviously not the creepypastas and unsolved mystery type stories, but the other things might catch some people’s eyes.

It’s a little nerve wracking to even think about trying to start. Is it okay to read fan fiction stories? Would my original content be safe. I guess I could always say “all rights reserved” in the description for my original stories and fan fiction stories say “based off the books by X author.” How do YouTubers do the things that they do? I want to know all their secrets.

I just need to take that first step, you know? Just go for it. Write a few things down and then record and put it all together in Movie Maker or something. It’s a start, at least.

I’m not making sense again. I just thought I’d write it all out again, see what others thought of it. And if enough people encourage me, maybe it’ll get me going (even though I asked some friends a few months ago and they said me creating a channel would be awesome! So…we’ll see).

Wacky Wednesdays.

I’m not sure if I like Wednesdays. I’ve felt like this for a long while now, but I don’t often mention it because I’m not sure if people enjoy hearing about others’ choice days of the week. I could be wrong though, so don’t quote and judge me, whatever that might be. I think I might even dislike Wednesdays as much as others dislike Mondays.

It seems like all the crazy things happen on Wednesdays. Things I don’t necessarily like experiencing, you know? It always seems busy smattered with weird occurrences. I guess the experiences makes me more wiser but does it always have to happen every week like clockwork? I’d like a break and have a good Wednesday for once, Life!

I’ve also been experiencing weird, vivid dreams. Last night I had a vivid dream of terrible, scary ghosts that wrecked the house. That’s the best way to explain it. If I tried to write it with more detail, you’d truly think me insane. Last week I dreamed I was in a dystopia like world. I don’t know why I’m having all these sudden dreams, but there they are.

I wish my entry could be more detailed and coherent than what I’m giving, but some days you just can’t explain yourself in the way it deserves. Friday is in two days. I hope I can survive.

On Edge

People are on edge. A tiny thing can set someone off. It’s understandable, I’m sure. These are troubled times. People are politically on edge.

I don’t talk about my politics. I won’t start now. But especially right now, I’m tired. I’m tired of hearing about it all. He said, she said. I think it’s time to take a break from social media again. It keeps getting worse as the time goes by and it probably won’t get any better.

There’s a lot of things I’ve been avoiding lately. Writing has definitely left my brain for a few weeks. I haven’t read much, I only read a lot in the last week or so, just because I want to get back in the habit, even if it doesn’t always make me happy.

I’ve really been into word searches tho. It’s been fun to just focus on one word at a time, find a word in a jumble of letters. A lot of them have been easy, but some of them have had one or two words that have had me frustrated because I couldn’t find them for the life of me.

I re-watched a movie called Anne Frank. It was made in 2003 with Ben Kingsley as well as the lady who played the mom in Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightley version) and the lady who played the mom in The Conjuring. It’s so sad. I wish I could’ve met Anne and Margot. Anne was about the same age as my grandmother. I wonder what kind of things she’d be doing if she survived. Probably a famous writer, she was so good with words.

Nothing else to say for now. I hope it gets better with time.

Finding Quakers.

My ancestry research has continued in the past few days or so.

I decided to look for the wife of my great-grandfather’s (my grandma’s father’s) side. There were no hints that automatically popped up in my tree when I added her to the tree a while back except for a couple of census records, but I remembered back when I had to go to the library for research that some family trees I found had an alternate spelling for her last name. With that in mind, I decided to do a little more digging and found a few more ancestors. It turns out that they were Quakers that came to Pennsylvania to practice their religion. There was one couple in my tree (a direct descendant) who were kicked out of the community because they decided to become Methodists. I always knew that my grandmother was Methodist, but I didn’t realize that it went back to that.

I wonder if this is why I’ve always had the strong belief that being a Christian doesn’t mean I have to go to a church to worship, that God is within ourselves and we can worship where we please. I looked up what it meant to be a Quacker and there used to be (or is) two branches of Quackers around the Mid-1800’s. The Hicksite Quakers are the original Friends who believed that we needed to look within ourselves to find the light and that the Bible was to be used as a secondary source. The Orthodox Quakers however, believed that we need to use the Bible as the primary source to find the light and look within ourselves second. Both beliefs are valid, but I’m kind of leaning towards the first if I were to choose any.

I wonder if the choices we make, the beliefs we embrace, the places we go, are somehow past down to the next generation. Can our likes and dislikes be passed down just as our genes can be passed down? I’ve always wanted to know, especially considering I’m the only one in the immediate family on both sides never really were into reading, writing, and English in general. There are creative people, but never into writing as much as I. Apparently I had a great grandmother who taught English until she was in her 80’s I think but that’s about it.

So many interesting thoughts that drudge up when you research your ancestors and so little answers. Sometimes I wonder if we just need to make our own conclusions?

Stop fitting a square into a round hole.

When I was a child, I had a dream of being a veterinarian and a professional writer. In my mind’s eye, I had it all sorted out: I’d have my vet practice in the east and I would work there 6 months out of the year. Then for the other 6 months, I’d be out west somewhere in the mountains writing. This would be the best of both worlds, I thought. I’d get to work with animals and get to work on my craft.

As I got older, something seemed to change. My dreams of being a veterinarian somehow faded from my mind and even writing was precarious at best. Both came back to be over the years; in my junior year of high school, I took an anatomy class and I continued to write as fan fiction and other art. But even then, both would go back into the recesses of my mind. I forgot about becoming a vet altogether.

They say that you need to hold onto your dreams, pursue them with a rigorous sort of vigor that even gets the goat of the most avid dreamers. I say pursue your dreams with passion, but realize that sometimes dreams evolve and even fade into something else entirely. I think we need to notice when we no longer feel passionate about what we once loved. I think we need to acknowledge that sometimes we don’t want to pursue something because our values have changed. Our ideas are different and our hobbies have changed.

Maybe if we all acknowledged what has made us unhappy is not what we’re doing currently, then maybe we can go on to focus on something that does. How creative would the world be if we actually acknowledged this and moved onto something new and innovative. How connected and understanding would we be if we no longer forced ourselves into squares that doesn’t fit in the spot that was meant for someone else?

A Week of Activities and Other Disasters.

As you’ve noticed, I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been writing in my personal journal every day up until Monday. That was my half attempt at doing writing every day for National Novel Writing Month. It wasn’t exactly a novel, just things that I did each day or what I was thinking about. But around Sunday/Monday, I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I stopped writing. The whole writing process was starting to feel like a homework assignment rather than something enjoyable and I didn’t want to participate anymore.

As with the blog, again I didn’t quite know what to say so I didn’t say it. And when I gave up writing in my personal journal, I was so frustrated with writing of all kinds that I even considered not continuing my blog as it seemed like I wasn’t writing for me, I was writing for some grand splendor or some such thing.

I don’t think I’ll give up blogging, but I’m at a point when I need a break. So if I go for long breaks without posting, that’s probably why.

Anyway, some things that have happened this week:

1. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

I went to see Fantastic Beasts this past Sunday (as of today, Friday) with my friend and her husband. Before we went, we ate at a small local restaurant. The food was good, but it was expensive. In fact, I nearly had a heart attack when I had the bill. I don’t think I’ll go back again and if I do, I’m getting water and no side dishes. Then we went to the movie. I enjoyed the movie, it was better than expected, but not something I want to run out and buy for myself when it comes out on DVD.

2. Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the U.S. in the morning I watched the Macy’s parade and that was fun. But then we took our elderly neighbor out to Cracker Barrel and that was the worst experience ever. We left around 1:30 and when we got there it was around two and we couldn’t even get the disabled parking because cars were blocking it. Then we got in there and they said it was going to be about an hour and a half, well it was 2 and a quarter hours before we finally got a seat, then we ordered our food. My mom got the children’s portion of shrimp, our neighbor got a salad, and I got the turkey dinner that was supposed to have three or four dishes with it. We waited over two hours for our food and when we finally got our food, the waitress plopped down my dish and all that was on there was a child’s portion of turkey and ham, nothing else. We all just stared at it and the waitress said “we ran out of everything, pick three other things.”

I was so disappointed. I was looking foreword to having my Thanksgiving dinner and I didn’t even get what I wanted after being there for four hours. And when I got my new sides, my beans and corn were swimming in soup. It was terrible. I’m not going there for Thanksgiving ever again.

On the bright side I watched A Christmas Story when we got home. It got me calmed down a little bit.

3. Day Off

I had to take a day off, so I decided to take today off. I’m going to relax as much as possible, read a book, watch some DVDs. Play the Sims even. Everything to get myself relaxed again.